After flirting with insolvency throughout the 1990s, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats finally hit rock bottom in 2003, putting up a 1-17 record that basically ensured the team's demise. However, just as all seemed lost, a rumour began circulating through the streets of Hamilton that a "Mr. X" would ride in at the eleventh hour and save the storied franchise. Incredibly, the rumour was correct, and "Mr. X" turned out to be Mr. Robert Young, a Hamilton expatriate-turned-king of the American dot com revolution.

Ticat fortunes turned abruptly around in Young's freshman year. For the first time in decades, the stands at Ivor Wynne Stadium were packed with fans. Hamiltonians were awestruck by the new paint and the flowers in the washrooms. On the brink of extinction only months before, football was suddenly alive and well in Hamilton. And, in the feel-good story of the year, the 2004 Tiger-Cats went 9-8-1 and qualified for the playoffs under former Canadian university coach Greg Marshall, who would go on to win CFL Coach of the Year honours. Everything that Bob Young touched was turning to (black and) gold.

But just under the surface, a controversy was brewing. In the build-up to the biggest game of the year against the dreaded Toronto Argonauts, Mr. Young let it be known that he was personally repulsed by the hallowed chant "Argos Suck!", notwithstanding its special place in the hearts of thousands of Hamiltonians. Subsequently, the Tiger-Cats could only manage to squeak out a disappointing 30-30 tie in the Labour Day Classic. Yet, no one really thought much of this slight stumble on the road to "excellence and beyond." However, as Mr. Young continued to pillory Hamilton's beloved chant through the remainder of the season, the Tiger-Cats sunk to third place in the standings and lost out on a home playoff game.

No matter though. The people of Hamilton were simply content to be in the running for the Grey Cup once more. But, as the anti-chant comments continued to emanate from the highest echelons of the Tiger-Cat organization, Hamilton's most sacred team came apart in the playoffs, taking almost 200 yards of penalties on the way to a stunning 24-6 semi-final loss to the dreaded Argos in which they could not even manage a touchdown. Worse still, this allowed the Toronto team to back into the Grey Cup, where they upset the heavily-favoured B.C. Lions, leaving Hamilton and all of Canada utterly devastated. It was almost as if all the anti-chant rhetoric had brought down a sports curse upon the Tiger-Cats.

But, little did the good people of Hamilton know that the worst was yet to come. A few days after the playoff loss, in a missive that would come to be known as "The Edict of the Forbidden Chant", Mr. Young announced on the team's website that the beloved cheer "Argos Suck!" would now be officially banned by the Tiger-Cat franchise. "Argos Suck!" merchandise would be pulled from the organization's retail stores. The team's official discussion forum was rigged so as to automatically censor the offending words, lest any fan dare attempt to put them in writing.

Renouncing the chant became a condition of employment for Tiger-Cat players and employees alike. Worst of all however, Mr. Young set his sights on eliminating the chant among everyday Hamiltonians by offering $1,000 for anyone who could come up with a more saccharine replacement cheer.

To their everlasting credit, the good people of Hamilton refused to take the bait. Instead, the fans attempted to show Mr. Young the error of his ways by demonstrating that the beloved chant was ingrained in the social fabric of Hamilton's history and culture. Toronto fans even pleaded with Mr. Young not to mess with this storied tradition, while none other than the sage Michael "Pinball" Clemons publicly stated that the "Argos Suck!" chant was an integral part of the Hamilton-Toronto rivalry.

Despite this counter-offensive, the pleas of the people of Hamilton fell on deaf ears, and Bob Young refused to revoke the Edict of the Forbidden Chant. Sure enough, as the 2005 season began, the Tiger-Cats stumbled to an 0-6 start. Things then went from bad to worse, and the once-proud Hamilton franchise whimpered to a 5-13 finish.

After such an unexpected disaster, many were now convinced that The Edict of the Forbidden Chant had placed a curse on the franchise. This was again communicated to Mr. Young, but to no avail. Instead, Mr. Young imported one of the CFL's most highly-touted quarterbacks, Jason Maas, for the 2006 season, thinking that this would show the good people of Hamilton that there is no such thing as a curse.

But, things continued to go downhill. Firstly, accusations of collusion and tampering in the Jason Maas deal sullied Mr. Young's reputation, as well as the reputation of the CFL. T hen, the firing of some Hamilton Tiger-Cat cheerleaders after an appearance on the Howard Stern show made a further mockery of Young's attempt to stake out the moral high ground with his anti-chant philosophy. The revamped Tiger-Cats opened the 2006 season with a terrible 0-4 start, which led to the firing of coach Greg Marshall. Formerly the embodiment of Mr. Young's pre-Edict success, Marshall and all that he represented now became just one more casualty of the curse.

Although most were convinced that a sports curse had indeed descended on the franchise as a result of The Edict of the Forbidden Chant, still Mr. Young ignored the pleas of his fan base. As the "caretakers" of the now-forbidden chant and its accompanying history and heritage, the board of directors at www.argos-suck.com attempted to showcase their social consciousness in a series of charitable actions designed to allay Mr. Young's unfounded fears about the moral uprightness of the sacred phrase.

Sympathizers within the Tiger-Cat organization bravely broke protocol and promoted these efforts on the team's website, and a new spirit of détente emerged. It seemed that the Edict, and therefore the curse, was about to be lifted, just in time for the 2006 Labour Day Classic. However, Mr. Young pronounced the campaign a cynical ploy, denigrated the hopeful citizens of the Forbidden Demographic as "reprehensible at best", and let it be known that the Edict would remain in force.

After this rebuff, the woes continued. The Argos slaughtered the Tiger-Cats on Labour Day. Jason Maas inexplicably put up the worst numbers of his entire career, and Hamilton wound up the season with a 4-14 record. The team had regressed even further from the debacle of 2005. It was impossible at this point even for the skeptics to ignore the curse brought on by the Edict of the Forbidden Chant.

2007, we were told, would be different. Two-time CFL Coach of the Year Charlie Taaffe was brought in to right the ship. The Forbidden Demographic pleaded with Bob Young to pre-emptively release the curse, so as to not drag Coach Taaffe into its vortex, but to no avail. Instead, Young proudly boasted that "your Curse argument" will be exposed as nonsense "once Charlie has this team winning." But it quickly became clear that the curse was still in play, as the Cats came out to an 0-5 start. In desperation, the Dear Leader of the Forbidden Demographic was flown in from an undisclosed location in Western Canada in a bid to forestall the curse. An impromptu conference was arranged between Ticats General Manager Marcel Desjardins and the Dear Leader, and lo and behold, on 3 August 2007, the Tiger-Cats pulled out their first victory of the season.

With the season still salvageable, never was there a better time to renounce The Edict of the Forbidden Chant. However, Mr. Young refused to budge. And so it followed that, instead of building on the victory, the Cats sank into another losing streak that ended any realistic expectation of a playoff appearance, with over two months of the season still to play. Even worse, the franchise is currently on track to plummet to a 3-15 season, a result even worse than the dismal years 2006 and 2005. Attendance has dropped to its lowest levels of the Bob Young era. Initially little more than an annoyance, the curse has now become a literal threat to the very existence of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats.

Therefore, after three long years, the Forbidden Website and allied parties have taken it upon themselves to put an end to the curse once and for all. The Edict of the Forbidden Chant has affected not only Hamilton, but has also eroded the Argo-Ticat rivalry that is so vital to the CFL. Furthermore, league parity has also been rent asunder by the curse. By threatening the CFL in this fashion, it is not just football, but the very fabric of Canadian society that has been put in grave danger. Our last hope is that on "Release the Curse" Night, live at the Legendary Horseshoe Tavern, CFL fans across the country will unite in an effort to set things right. Please stay tuned for more updates.

JOIN THE FIGHT!! RELEASE THE CURSE!!